If you are trying to get pregnant and are feeling guilt about not being able to conceive, and if your mate has not been tested yet, please have your mate tested before you place the burden of guilt on your own shoulders.

If your doctor has stated that there should be no reason why you should not be able to conceive, it is time to see how fertile your mate is. To help him adjust to the idea of getting a check-up if he is against it, you could first ask him if he would go for a regular check-up to check for prostate cancer. This is a typical check-up that all males should have, just as women have mammograms to check for breast cancer. If he is open to this idea, then he is more than likely open to getting his sperm count tested to see what his fertility success rate should be. If so, then you have a very loving spouse and it will be much easier for you to get him involved with your conception attempts.

If he still insists that the problem is through no fault of his own, you may have a problem. You should calmly sit down and have a long talk with your mate, and explain to him how important this is to you. Explain that if his sperm count is low, there are others methods that you as a couple can do to increase the chances of conception. Let him know that if he is infertile, then it does not mean that he is less of a man. Inform him that you would have peace of mind, if you could just find out for yourself if he or yourself causes the infertility.

Tell him your fears and explain to him about how much a child would mean to you. That you are open to all suggestions, even to the point of adoption if you are willing and able, and that you just want to cover every base before seeking alternative options.

Explain to him how women who want children, yet who cannot have them, feel inside. Tell him how empty you feel, and share your pain with him. Sometimes men do not understand their mates’ desires, pains and fears. Some men do not understand how important conception is for a woman. Men cannot have babies, so they do not understand what a woman goes through to conceive and have a child.

There are many things that can cause infertility in men, with some of them being correctable. You owe it to yourself and your spouse to find out if your fertility can be improved for possible conception. If the problem lies with your mate, he owes it to you to find out for your own peace of mind.

Your mate should be supportive in your attempts to conceive and should educate himself about fertility, conception and causes for infertility. If your mate is not understanding, and will not attempt to help you find out exactly what is causing your infertility, you may need to seek advice from a professional marriage counselor or family therapist.

Whatever the results, if your doctor has not been able to locate the reason for your infertility, do not feel guilty. It is not your fault. Keep trying, keep yourself healthy and make sure that your mate understands just how important this is to you. If your mate does not understand, please seek marriage help from a professional.