Tips For Coping With A Chronic Illness

I have been sick for about seven years and was diagnosed four years ago. These last four years have been a time of discovery and figuring out how to deal with all the pain, fatigue, and lack of sleep. It has been a major struggle but the end result was finding an inner peace, and not to fear the pain. I would like to tell you what I have learned.

There are only two roads you can choose to follow: First, being angry and fighting the illness which brings tension and more pain to your muscles. Secondly, accepting you have a chronic illness and move forward and change your lifestyle so you can cope.

Be kind to yourself and your body. Don't push yourself beyond what you can easily handle. You really do not have a choice. You must adopt measures that will help you cope. Until there is a cure, we must stay mentally fit and as healthy as possible so we can take whatever cure might become available.

This becomes a goal; something to work for slowly and carefully. In the meantime, here are some things to do that are important. There will be a period of mourning over your healthy life before you can move on to full acceptance of a lifestyle change. So don't be worried if you find this very hard. Following are 17 suggestions that can help improve your quality of life.

1. For your immune system, take a multivitamin daily and eat a healthy diet. Sometimes eating five or six small meals instead of three larger ones is advisable to keep your energy level up. Some foods to avoid are alcohol, cigarettes, nutrasweet, sugar, sometimes white flour, and fermented foods. This help your system from becoming too acidic. Experiment and see if you have any food allergies.

2. For frequent urinary tract infections or when you take antibiotics, have yogurt daily or acidophilus tablets from your local health food store.

3. Coping and acceptance are the keys to survival. Don't dwell on every pain and don't try to figure out what it is from. Instead, work around the pain. We never have two days exactly the same. You will waste your whole life trying to figure out one pain from another. As a matter of fact, I never saw or spoke to any two FM patients who were exactly the same. Try to ignore the pain unless it is very different and then, check it out with your doctor.

4. To be sure, you have precious little energy Don't waste one bit of it on negative thinking or on thinking about how you feel every moment. It just drains you. When I started to think positively and take each day and live it the very best could, it made all the difference. I do what I can and what I can't do, I don't and I simply don't care any longer.

5. With time, your lifestyle will become the norm to you; not your old lifestyle. Listen to what your body is telling you and don't go beyond what is comfortable, if something increases the pain and fatigue, stop immediately. Rest before the pain gets beyond what I call the point of no return, if you go too far, it can take days to recover to the point you were before you overdid it.

Be kind to yourself and adjust your life so you can find this wonderful inner peace. This involves learning to say "no". After awhile you won't even feel guilty when you do. It is simply survival. Pick and choose the things you can do easily and comfortably Don't go crazy when people say, "You look good - how can you really be that sick?" spending extra energy trying to convince people you are really sick.

6. Pick out clothing that is loose and comfortable. Cut out labels if they bother you. Everyone agrees it is a major help in feeling comfortable and relieving pressure on your skin that is veiy sensitive. Skin sensitivity can be part of the illness. I find that clothing in a size or two larger than I wear is wonderful for me.

Shoes are another area where comfort is important. Find a type of shoe that has a soft cushioned sole and heel. When I find good, comfortable shoes and clothing, I buy them in every color while they are still available. A slip on sneaker with a thick sole is my answer for shoes.

7. Keep up your appearance. Don't try to look as bad as you feel. Keep your hair styled and if you are used to wearing makeup, don't stop. Sometimes a tint to our glasses helps if your eyes are sensitive to the light.

8. Please don't leave work unless you have to. Try part time if you can. If you cannot work, then keep busy with volunteering, getting involved with a support group or interesting hobbies. This helps distract yourself from the pain. It takes time to find the right things for you to do; it will happen.

9. Walking and warm water exercises are best. If something hurts, don't continue until you feel better. People who always exercised before they were sick can do light exercises. If you never exercised much before, it will be harder now. Remember everyone is different. Try everything and find the right thing for you. Again, listen to your body and you can't go wrong.

10. Scheduling is important, so try not to overload your schedule. Don't make more than one appointment a day, and when you do, make it for the time of day that you are at your best. I tiy to get the first appointment of the day so I don't have to wait.

Try to leave a free day between appointments. Using a calendar that shows the whole month in blocks, rather than weekly, helps you get a good overview and you won't over schedule. Scatter things across the month instead of everything in one week. Go easy and plan carefully and you will feel better much longer. Don't be a hero, be your friend instead.

11. If you\ve to buy a car, here are a few things to think about and test.

a. Loose, easy steering especially on corners. Test drive to get the right car for you.
b. 4-door cars are better because 2-door cars have bigger and heavier doors.
c. The floor should not have an extra deep well. It makes it harder to climb in and out.
d. Check out seats! American cars seem to have more cushiony seats and are more comfortable, making it possible for you to ride longer.

Editor's Note: Cushiony seats are not always the best for long periods of driving. In fact, the firmer seats found in some German cars (BMW's, MB's, and VW's) and in some Japanese sports cars (older Datsun 240/260/280Z's come to mind) are more comfortable for extended times in the car.

12. Drive only when you are not totally exhausted. Your reflexes will not be sharp. I have found myself being very careless when I drive when exhausted.

13. In the summer, a dehumidifier can help by removing the dampness in a room. Air conditioning helps but the extra humidity increases pain. I was amazed to discover how much humidity there is in the homes that have central air. I leave the dehumidifier on in my bedroom. if you also have problems with allergies, an air purifier in your room can help.

14. Do not worry about your lack of concentration and memory. It is from being tired not Alzheimer's. You will notice it worsens as fatigue and pain increases. Rest, and you will be better. This also can be part of this illness.

15. Most people with FM have a sleep disorder and cannot get into a health sleep. When I can't sleep I listen to the radio, read or just think about what I like to do and would like to do. Don't dwell on the sleep problem. Instead, distract yourself with good feelings and thoughts.

16. When you have a chronic illness, your world starts to shrink and it can be very isolating. Don't go to an extreme. Pick and choose the things you do and with whom you do them. Stay around upbeat and positive people and become one yourself. Don't complain about your illness to everyone. Join a support group and meet people with the same problems.

We can complain to each other. Your family, in some cases and friends don't want to hear. They cannot help or even understand. Only we can help ourselves. Remember there are a lot of people in a lot more trouble. Every day try to be grateful we can walk, talk, and take care of ourselves. Distract yourself with whatever holds your interest and helps you maintain a positive attitude. Visualize happy times.

17. If you cannot spend an entire day out of the house, meet friends for lunch or maybe go into one shop. Just do something no matter how small. Just be happy to be alive and learn how to be positive and grateful for every day. Don't waste precious energy on negatives.

When all is said and done, do whatever it takes for you to survive. Do not think back and say how much you used to so. We all did a lot of things and we can be happy we did. Now we have another phase of our life to live and deal with. Concentrate on today, one day at a time, and live with whatever cards life has dealt you.